Super Emo

Lymon is a bad loser.

Somehow i was under the delusion that i did a great job out there, considering the condition of my throat. but how many times have i given that excuse? erm sore throat. erm dry throat. my best frens.

I did my best. Regrets? yeah. that i wasnt able to get everyone to share my opinion.

Maybe i am deluded. maybe my singing prowess just isnt up to standard. Maybe i’ve always been overestimating myself.

this is one of those instances whereby ‘not bad’ translates to ‘not good.’ cos if it’s good, people will just say that well, it’s good.

I hate my fucking throat.

how long has it been? 4 months odd? since end of june? when will i be able to sing anything i want and have people unanimously tell me that i did great? when will i stop hearing ‘not bad la’ when i have already put my best foot forward and tried to make the best out of it?

mayb i am just half-fucked after all. half-fucked sportsman. half-fucked guitarist. half-fucked singer. half-fucked student. half-fucked everything. fucking jack of all trades, master of none.

really. i will give anything in the world to get my normal singing voice back. god help me. i just want to be able to sing and know that i sing well. please.

i can do better than this. i just need my singing voice back. please.

SUNDOWN!

I almost forgot i had a blog. Man. i’m getting lazy to update people with snippets of my life. Either that or i’ve got no life worth putting down with words. So i’m here today because i’ve got something interesting about my life to share! Finally! =) After months and months of slacking around doing squat, i finally have something which even I think is blog-worthy.

I took part in the Adidas Sundown marathon!! woot!! But hey, this entry wont really be a “hao lian” entry, i hope. I’ll just talk about things like cause and effect, action and consequence etc. Philosophical stuff. Try and keep up. =)

Alright where should i begin? from the very top i guess. Why i signed up for this in the first place. It was in january this year i think. i was lounging around the office, still a bored NSF, surfing blogs and reading about the latest terrorist attack, political strife in some Asian countries *ahem etc in some forums YAWN.

That was when i discovered that ADIDAS was holding a marathon! the second-ever mass night racing event, and the only one in ASIA! and the first thing that came to mind was “COOL! adidas is my favourite brand!”

I know. No link one. but adidas is seriously my favourite brand. The simple yet intricate 3 stripes trademark on every single piece of its gear is just so revolutionary isnt it? In a world where advertising and branding involves words (Long John Silvers), letters (M), acronyms (KFC),  and pictures (cant think of one at the moment), the 3 stripes stand out the most!(alongside the tick la. ) simple yet effective advertising. The 3 stripes is so recognised throughout the world that anyone would know what three stripes represents on any piece of sporting equipment or apparel.

not to mention that i think 3 stripes has much better quality products that can really withstand wear and tear. Compared to the tick. *ahem

oh wait, i sidetracked. Damn. well at least i had a platform to rant abt my deep love for adidas products. whatever. back to my story. so the next thing that came to m ind was “hey i wanna do something fun and exciting after i ORD! Something i’ve never done before in my entire life! maybe i should go run a marathon!” the next thing i thought was ” cool! i have never seen a night marathon before!” And i decided there and then:

YES, I SHALL TAKE PART IN ADIDAS SUNDOWN 2009! so i walked to my master sergeant’s desk and asked if he had a credit card with which i could apply for the event. Incidentally he was taking part in the run too! yeah he’s got quite a few marathon finisher tees in his wardrobe. i think. sundown, standard chartered. new balance etc.

so i applied. much later i found out that the organisers of the sundown had given in to a group of petitioners from i dunno where, to include a finisher’s tee for those who completed the run. whew. i mean, what kind of marathon would it be if the finisher cant flaunt his “finisher of 42 km marathon” t-shirt? sheesh.

so there i was, feeling rather good about myself. so i devised a simple, vague training plan to get myself ready to Race the Night™. Sadly, my body seemed to reject my attempts to clock the kilometres. Everytime i ran, i fell sick shortly after. Cold, flu, fever, sore throat. Must be the wind whipping against my sweat-soaked skin. sigh.

So my training schedule was screwed up. i didnt even manage to complete my training. I stopped at 15 km, which i am not even sure was accurate, given the fact that i used google maps distance calculator to agar-agar.

so i started to panick a little. i mean, what kind of suicidal person would go into a marathon for the first time without first having ample preparation and training?

Then i found out that K Luon was also taking part in the marathon, with some of his cell group members.  i’ll get to that part later. And K L, if you’re reading this: U OWE ME BIG TIME DUDE. Lol relax, kidding. =P

so the day night came, 30 may 2009. i wasnt prepared at all. i almost believed that i would die in the middle of it, but my male ego would not let me fall out halfway. i wanted to save some face too lah. So i was determined, kinda, to complete the run even if it took me 8,9, 10 hrs.

i have to say, the running routes are kinda screwed up. i mean, who the hell runs on overhead bridges during a marathon! and we had to run across 4 of them, although three of them had gradual slopes up and down the bridge, instead of stairs, which is still totally not the point.

the running routes were damn narrow. we were running on pavement, designed for maybe two person’s width. I had to weave around the walking people, the slower people and that agitated me alot.alot of times, i had to run on the grass patched that separated the main road from the pavement. Sheesh. i ws worried that Lymonade “Sprain” Sim would get a massive ankle twisting from all the dang potholes in the grass.

so me and kl and his cell grp frens started running together. it took us almost 5 mins to get past the starting point cos of the sheer number of participants packed like tuna/sardines in front of us. We started off running really slowly cos the lot of us were bunched up together, and there was hardly any room for overtaking.  and because of this massive amt of people packed together, it was hot beyond hot. humid beyond el nino.  i sweated more in the first 3 km than i did for the entire race. and i am not kidding.

so we moved at a leisurely pace for abt 3 km. until kl started to pick up speed.he told me that he saw three old guys who were damn zai at running overtake us, and that we should follow them. so we did. at a tremendous speed. we followed them from the 3 km mark to abt 13 km, where there was a water point. we overheardone of the old men telling his buddies “hey its only an hour 15 min. at this rate, we can do this in 5.”

i wowed at our pace. but i was also beginning to wear out. why? cos we were nearing the 15 km mark, the furthest i have ever ran in 1 attempt. so we ran for a while more, while trying desperately to keep up. den i told kl, “cannot. cannot. must walk” so we walked. and lost the 3 old men.damn.

After some encouragement from kl, we took off again, slowly. den some where along the 16 km mark, kl developed a cramp in his left knee. so we stopped and rested while he tended to his cramp. 5 to 10 min later, we were up and running. 5 to 10 min after that, he went down again w the same recurring cramp. i was partially thankful for that cos it gave me time to rest and recover. my own stress-fracture ankle was killing me. i was worried that my right knee would give way soon, due to it compensating for my weak ankle.

i was right about that. but we’ll get to that later. so throughout the course of the run, until the 28 km mark, KL cramped, we stopped, he rested, he applied some deep heat lotion, we took off walking, den started running. this cycle repeated itself from East Coast park to East Coast Lagoon, to Bedok Jetty, to Big Splash, to kembangan mrt, through siglap park connector finally to bedok reservoir.

oh ya i forgot to mention, at the start of the siglap park connecter, which was around the 25 km mark, some big guy collapsed. fell face first into the tarmac. Didnt move. some guys went to help him up. His eyes were wide open, but he was limp. didnt look like he was breathing. hmm. (later i saw the same guy at the resuscitation pen at the holding area, with medic and security guys tending to him. Even his legs were awfully pale. and he was in shock, jerking here and there at his extremities. Poor dude.)

so i told kl “nothing we can do here” and continued running.

Afterward  kl collapsed, for his 20th time LOLOL, at a very strategic point. As he sat there, near the 28 km mark, a team of medical experts came to tend to him. LOL. they offered him a pack of ice to nurse his cramp. we later referred to the pack of ice as the “elixer” cos it was god damn effective for his cramp.

After some serious icing, KL was like some dead guy brought back to life. Or rather, some amputee who had miraculously regrown his leg. and so he chionged his way through the walking, jogging, strolling stumbling crowd. and who was i to spoil his fun? i joined in, having had ample rest during all the times he went down. So we powered our way, weaving through the crowd, stopping only at water points, but only for water and stuff.

We made good time. We started from the 28 km mark, and kept running till the 35 km mark, before the ice slowly lost its healing effect. my knees and ankles were starting to feel the immense strain from all the running.

so we agreed to take it slow, walk and run a little, until the 38 km mark, before we each took off at our own pace.

So we reached the 3rd last water point, and after that kl sprinted off like some mad dude. i tried to follow, but realised that there was this pain in my right kneecap. i postulated that it was the compensation for my weak ankle earlier on that resulted in this injury. This rendered running near impossible, so i had to walk. Damn. if i wanted to run, i would have to hobble, putting most of my weight on my left knee. which i did in the end.

so i walked, and walked, and walked. and overtook some other walkers. even overtook a few joggers. Man. But even briskwalking was slowly taking its toll on the soles of my feet and my calves. Not to mention that there was so much lactic acid built up in my thighs i could have sold them for 10 bucks per litre. cos i’m very sure i had a litre in those aching muscles.

So whenever i could, i hobbled. But hobbling made my breathing uneven, and i developed a stitch at the 40 km mark. shit.

well, the last 2 km was really the worst part of the race. i had enough in me to run, but my legs just werent able to support all that impact any longer. it was very demoralising to see pple just chiong past me towards the ending, and knowing that i should have been one of those running happily towards the finish line, and knowing that i couldn’t. so it was a very arduous 2 km. that seemed almost like 3 or 4 km. maybe it was my walking. but the race never seemed to end. i kept walking, ocassionally hobbling, but i never saw the end. and i knew that i could not keep this up much longer. Man the pain was so intense i felt that i would black out anytime. felt a little queasy.

i finally saw the word “finish” just before the sun came up. the sky was still 630 am kinda blue. Somewhere along the run, i told myself to complete the run before the sun came out, so that the marathon would stay true to its title, and not become a “SUNRISE” marathon.  so i hobbled, hobbled on one good leg to the end of my 42 km journey. i looked up at the clock above the word. about 6 hrs 45 min. give or take. i smiled,  despite the growing discomfort in both legs. every single muscle, tendon, ligament in every part. And by the word “discomfort”, i meant ” fucking-hell-excruciating-wanna-die-or-just-cut-my-legs-off” kinda pain. Not a good feeling

so i dily dallied there for quite a while, resting my poor legs, lying on the soil, watching rest of the pple come in. uncles and aunties, people who looked like they work in an office, NSFs, ocassional babes, young guys, 84 km ultramarathoners, both male and female, and couples, hand-in-hand, walking to the finish line. I caught fleeting glimpses of a few of these couples as i ran, couples enjoying the scenery, talking to each other, holding each other’s hand all the way. Very sweet.

and there were some runners who had frens on the sidelines, armed with cameras. when the runner came in close to the finish line, his frens would cheer and hold the camera up to take a shot, while the runner posed for it. haha.

Got home after a couple of hours. slept on the bus ride back. when i woke up, my legs felt worse than ever. i had to limp from the bus stop back home.not a pretty sight. I spent the remainder of Sunday sleeping in the aircon room, slacking around w my guitar, and finally rubbing ointment on my severely damaged kneecaps while watching Camp Rock on HD channel 5.

My first ever marathon. My  first ever long-distance night run. A great experience. Great memories to take home with me. (if only i had a camera!) Great injuries to nurse and heal. I still can’t believe i actually ran the entire 42 km and still lived to tell the tale. =S but here i am, alive and kicking! Not, not entirely true. i can’t kick anything for now. and maybe for the remainder of the week.

But its not just my legs that are totally busted. abrasions on my arms from bua-ing my upper arms against my armpit area when i swung my arms while running. abrasions on my thighs, near the groin area due to friction caused by moving legs, made worse by the fact that my running shorts were soaked entirely in my sweat. Yucks. I even had abrasions on my ass (brought on by wet undergarments. *ahem)! i thought this only happens in route marches! now i know how those 24km recruits feel.

Have learnt a few lessons from this: Stamina isnt the most important thing, its how much impact your legs can absorb, and how powerful your willpower is, to just keep moving forward, to not stop and sit down at every bus stop u see, to chiong up a slope. I also learnt how to take care of my legs. With advice from the joints specialist Dr Li Zhiliang lol.

Well one thing’s for certain: i will not take part in such things anytime soon. well, maybe i’ll go for the next sundown, and hopefully i’ll be able to make better time. =)

Gonna go back to massaging my legs. see ya all.

talking to each other. Very sweet.

Anyone missed me?

It’s been quite a while i must admit, i almost forgot my password to my wordpress account. I’ve given up trying to let my previous post stay as the the top and most recent post so more people would bother reading it and giving comments. Oh well, pretty soon that story will just become another entry on lymonade. I’ve run out of ideas. Kidding. I’m too lazy to actually sit there and brainstorm for my potential bestseller cos 1: I’m not getting paid for it, 2: that’s not my full time job, 3: I’ve got better things to do ie stoning arnd, 4: I’ve got better things to do that doesnt require so much brainpower.

hmm. But so far i’ve figured out one or two things about myself. One: I don’t like to do follow up work. i like to complete an assignment, a task as soon as i can, without putting the matter clean from my head. Take homework for example. I dont like to do ten sums today and stop for one day den complete the other ten sums some other day. i prefer/want to sit there the whole fucking day just to complete the whole damn thing. hmm i guess it has something to do with wanting to feel as if one has achieved/accomplished something. u know, like oh this piece of work has been done!! rather than, erm nope, i still gotta do this tmr, so thats still not a tick against the check box.

So yep i don’t like to follow up. be it homework, housework, or blog entries. i dont like to draft a blog entry and come back another day to finish it up. maybe i will eventually do so cos i am so dying to let pple hear my most esteemed opinions but that seldom happens once the whole thing gets chucked into some unused neuron in some unused part of my brain.

So this story is one of them. I’ve got ideas. sketches. here and there. but i’m too lazt to try and consolidate them all inmto words. sigh. Is everyone like that? does everyone hate to do follow up work? or it is just me?

Hmm okay i figured out one more thing abt myself: I LOVE to write. All sorts of nonsense. Especially fiction. It was only after reading my own standalone chapters littered all over my blog that i’ve begun to realise how much i love to write. i even remembered my childhood ambition. to become an author. of a bestselling fiction book series. haha and that ambition had to be mercilessly crushed by reality, cos let’s face it, local authors dont earn much. i wonder if Low Kay Hwa or Russell Lee earn enough to get by. hmm.

and although i don’t have a degree in literature or english,  that doesnt stop me from pursuing my hobby. but as a part time job. when i retire or when i have nothing to do. how sad. i wish to become a full time author, but alas i might end up becoming a chemical engineer who might have an alias who just might churn out a best seller. Might. iF. maybe.

My favourite genre is fiction. i hate reading about things that are real, or what someone has to say about something. i do not like reading biographies.  I absolutely detest those books on how to get rich or whatever, or how fast food is killing people. or whatever. but i dont mind reading about history, just to discover if anything controversial happened in WWII or whatever.

in the fiction category, my favourite is science fiction. as influenced by my childhood hero, KA Applegate. (Yes, the Animorphs author.) Next is real time fiction, as influenced by Jeffrey Archer (Not a Penny More, not a Penny Less). I picked up a bit of liking mixing religion with fiction from Dan Brown, with his famous Da Vinci Code.

WARNING: LYMONADE’S BOOKWORM-NERD MODE TURN-ON.  THE FOLLOWING SECTION U ARE ABOUT TO READ IS ALL ABOUT HOW HIS FAV AUTHORS HAVE INFLUENCED HIS WRITING. IF U DON’T WANT TO KNOW, READ ONLY AFTER THE SECOND LINE OF ASTERISKS

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The first two authors have had a great influence in the way i write. One: They dont really describe stuff very vividly, unless absolutely necessary(think Andalites and morphing). They dont describe scenery til the last sapling. (I HATE descriptions that dont add value to the story. Redundant shit. waste space. waste paper. waste brainpower trying to figure out what kind of picture he’s trying to paint.) These authors take it that u know the place they are describing, or u can leave it to your own imagination. So there’s usually very little description in whatever stories i write.

Two: Both Applegategate and Archer have very solid book characters. The characters might not be easy to relate to, but you can tell one from another. How? Thru the use of dialogue. Excessive dialogue. But excessive in a good way. The more a character talks, the more you can understand what sort of person that character is, what the author is trying to portray. is the character a ruffian? is he cowardly?is he witty? always sarcastic?  how much morals and ethics are in him? is he a natural leader?

So for my stories, if any, my characters tend to hold conversations alot. and there absolutely isnt any need for me to hold back their language. Whatever character i have, whatever i think he might say, i just write it down. gives the character a human touch. makes him real. and thru their conversations, you can pretty much tell who the different characters are, even if i have a long list of open and close inverted commas with no ” said A.” “replied B.” at the end of each sentence.

Third: thinking to yourself. Applegate’s Animorph books were in first person. So as i read, i see the character’s thoughts and feelings, the sort of moral dilemma they are going through when they make difficult decisions, what are they thinking when presented with a situation. Archer’s books are almost always in third person, limited, and changes perspectives every few paragraphs, pages, chapters. His books are also littered with things that the characters are thinking at the moment, even if they are not significant to the entire story. i feel that this gives the characters an even more human feel, as the reader will see the character’s thought processes and wonder to himself if he will do the same, given the exact identical circumstances?

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Okay i’ve finally manged to get a grip and stop yammering about writing. I guess it’s been too long since i last ranted here. =)

i’m still recovering from a bout of fever and sore throat. funny how i seem to be falling ill more and more often. it kinda scres me. i went to the doc on tuesday with a fever, and the first thing he said to me was ” hey, din u come last month?” and i was like “errr ya.”

guess i have a weak body. if this continues, i might die before 40. Scary thought.

Went to JB on Monday. Hella Cheap Movie tickets man. Malaysia Cathay FTW! 9RM for a monday ticket. 6 RM for wed, which is movie day. 6 RM for shows screened before 11 AM. The popcorn corncer had helluva cheap drinks as well. 3 RM for a medium pepsi! =)

But i must say, it still wasnt worth the 9 RM to suffer “KNOWING.” seriously. The first hour and a half had a spooky apocolyptic feel to the film, which was quite good. But if the director or the producer wanted to give their audiences a surprise, they got it. Cos i definitely was not expecting the ending of the show. I mean, come on, aliens coming to take ADAM and EVEs jr to start a new life elsewhere, give earth a second chance?

There was at least 100 ways to make the ending way way better. But aliens just din cut it. Seriously. when i first saw the guys in suits and bleached hair, i thought they were from some cult responsible for the accidents that were happening. turns out they couldnt speak at all, and were translucent aliens in disguise. Like What the Fark man.

When i saw one of them temporarily blind Nicholas Cage with a ball of light that came from his mouth, i prayed it wasnt what i thought it was

and when i saw the spaceship (with its mind-blowing SFX), i knew that was it.

When i saw the four dudes transform into their alien selves, with brains visible, i just shook my head and sighed.

SIGH.

No doubt the special effects were awesome. end of the world, engulfed in fire. Nice concept. State of the art effects. Way way better compared to the $12 Special Effects budget for NEXT (incidentally, also starring Cage.)

But the awesomeness was somewhat ruined by the sheer retardedness of the plot. Half the time, Cage himself looks like he’s scared. Not of the SIGNS on the piece of paper. Of the abysmal ratings this show is going to get.

yeah watch the first half of the show den the get the hell out of there.

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hope i get well soon. want to go lots of places, do lots of nothing. maybe get started on my story proper and try to pitch the idea to the singapore short stories competition or something.

and justine’s hols are coming to an end. ={

Dear Diablo…

PROLOGUE

The sound of rain fills the evening sky. The setting sun, half-covered by gloomy clouds of a greyish-blue hue, seems to engulf the city in a sad, mournful, orange tinge. A gust of cold wind sweeps through as dusk slowly sets upon the inhabitants of this urban dwelling.

People. Trudging along, weary from a hectic day at work, a game of golf, a lack of caffeine, pass through the streets. Each is headed in his own direction, on his own path. Some move with more purpose than others. Some look forward to an eventful night with friends and family, indulging in some of Man’s favourite sins.

For them, another day has gone by. Some may stop to ponder: was it a day well spent? Was it a day full of meaning? Others are just relieved, even glad, that the ordeal known as the “working day” is now behind them. Another day, a new day, full of new and exciting opportunities, awaits.

Yet, some wander the streets with little motivation, no ambition, zero aspiration, minimal inspiration, and wonder about the meaning of their existence. Some wish that the night will forever remain young, for they dread the coming of a new dawn, a dawn that holds no meaning, no value whatsoever to them. A beer would probably prolong the night. Oh yes. Some alcohol would surely help.

“Hey buddy, u got a light?” i feel a tug at my coat tail and a raspy voice call out, snapping me out of my philosophical reverie. I spin on one heel and turn a full 180 degrees. Standing in front of me, a man in his late 30s, disheveled, shivering in cold, armed with nothing but a cheap substitute for a fur coat to combat this ghastly weather. In his left hand, he carries a bottle of stout. His right hand, previously used to tug at my coat, now holds a cigarette. He has a tired, almost dead look in his eyes. I could have been looking at a walking cadaver.

I pull out my lighter from my chest pocket, a vintage post-WWI collector’s item, made in 1920. The first of its kind. I hand it over to him. He doesn’t thank me and lights up immediately. His hands are shaking visibly, either from the extreme cold or from the effects of alcohol.

He takes a long drag of his cancer stick and returns me my prized lighter. For the first time, he makes eye contact with me.

John Trevor. 36 years old. Has been unemployed for almost 6 months. Fell heavily in debt 2 months ago from obsessive gambling. Used to own an apartment down the street. Landlord chased him out after loan sharks vandalized the entire 4th floor. Presently homeless. His eyes tell me that he is desperate, sad, lonely.

Another one hits rock bottom
, i muse to myself.

“Hey John.”

His eyes widen, surprised at the fact that a complete stranger just had called out his name. His eyes scan his cheap coat, his torn working jeans, his worn-out sneakers, wondering if there was a nametag or any form of identification on him that had given his identity away.

After a while, he gives up searching. He looks at me suspiciously, his eyes focused, very much unlike a drunk.

“Who are you? How do you know my name?” He asks. I can feel the fear slowly creeping into his trembling voice. The only thing preventing him from running away, screaming in full-blown hysterics was probably the fact that i looked too smartly dressed to be a loan shark.

“Just a friend, John. Just a friend.” The man seems unconvinced, and starts to raise his voice, hoping to intimidate me, to instill some fear in me so as to facilitate his interrogation. However, he fails to realise that him, as the intimidator, is becoming increasingly intimidated. He demands to know my name, but of course i keep my silence.

“I asked you who the hell are you, you son of a *****!” He gestures aggressively at me. People around him start staring, pointing fingers. I can hear their hushed voices whisper “what is that drunk bastard doing? Who does he think he is talking to?”

He hears them too. By now he realises that he is the only one who can see me. He stares at his lighted cigarette to discover that he cannot use the word “lighted” to describe its state now. He turns to run but promptly blacks out. Out of fear? Out of panic? Out of shock? He does not know. Probably a combination of all three.

**************

“John, wake up.”

His reaction is instantaneous, he jolts wide awake, all traces of his drunken stupor suddenly absent. He tries to get up from the ground, but he realises that he cannot move any of his limbs. Or any part of his body, save his eyes and neck.

His eyes frantically dart left right left right as he surveys his surroundings, trying to make sense of it all. Nothing has changed, he is still on the cobbled street in the middle of the city, but no one else is around. The air is still and quiet, but he cannot feel the biting cold of the autumn wind. For now. His eyes find me, sitting very close to him.

“where am i? And you haven’t answered my question god damn it! Who the hell are you?”

“I told you, John. I’m a friend, and friends are here to help.”

“Holy shit! Are you jigsaw?” I register whatever he just said, and promptly burst into shrieking laughter. I cannot believe the utter silliness of his comment. This could take a very long time.

I compose myself and wipe tears from my eyes, even as he keeps shouting “hey stop laughing god damn it!” He tries to move, but realises that he is still being held by invisible binds. I personally would prefer talking to him face to face, instead of literally looking down at him, but i have to prevent him from trying to run away. Obviously he cannot move out of this place at all, but based on experience, trying to sell someone an idea while chasing after him can be quite a tiresome affair.

“Do you believe in God, John?” I ask suddenly. The mood becomes solemn, sombre, even John falls silent, thoughtful even and forgets his quest to know my name.

“What business is it of yours?” He asks, just as suddenly. Anger is written all over his eyes, as though i have just offended him with my question, which was never meant to be offensive in any way.

“You look sad, John. Sad and lost. Lonely. You don’t look like you have a purpose in life. I’ve met many people. Many people, who, like you, once hit the lowest point of their lives.”

He doesn’t say anything, so i presume that he’s letting me continue.

“So many of them, John. Just like you. Just that few inches from the brink. Just so near Despair, just so so close to relinquishing all hope on life. So what does this have to do with God, you may ask. Because these people believe in their God, they still have that fire, that faith in their eyes, however little. This faith is what keeps them from totally giving in to their suicidal tendencies. For them, their faith in their religion keeps them alive.”

“you look like you don’t want to live but don’t want to die either. So which is it, John? Do you believe in God?”

I let him digest my little speech. He pauses to think and then lets out a sigh.

“God may exist. But i do not believe in him. Not anymore. Given up on him a long time ago.”

“Why is that?”

“Because god is NEVER there when you need him. Never. When you’re down on your luck, he never shows up to save you. I know, I know. God isn’t some miracle entity, not some tool to save you. He can’t be there to save everybody. But why does he not even give a sign or even point me in the right direction? I went to church every Sunday, i lived an honest life, did an honest business. I daresay that i was a devout believer. All these, for what? When the chips are down, where is God? Can’t he even give me a hint, some clue and tell me where to go? What was all that faith for? So that he’ll bless you. Do i feel blessed now? No.. Hell no..”

He starts breaking down. Tears start welling up in his eyes, as Pain starts attacking his heart.

In between sobs, he tells me how he was a successful businessman with a beautiful wife, darling children, a huge mansion in the countryside and all. He tells me how he felt that he owed part of his success to God for it was God who gave him the blessings.

He also tells me how he was swindled of his money through investments in a dud oil company and how his family eventually left him for greener pastures, after further investments at the racecourses failed to reap any benefits at all. He tells me how his life fell apart, and how reconstruction wasn’t plausible, even with the aid of nicotine and booze. He tells me how he wished at times, that all was well again, that he would eventually wake up from this nightmare to a sunny morning, complete with breakfast in bed.

He starts sobbing. I permit the use of his hands to wipe his tears off. Tears of sorrow, of regret, of despair. Close to tipping point, i note.

I ask him suddenly, “Do u believe in the Devil then?” His eyes focus again, this time with less apprehension. He turns his head to me and stares straight into my eyes.

“If there is a God, then there is a Devil.” He replies with much conviction.

“Good. Den i have a business proposition for you.” He raises one eyebrow in a classic look of incredulity.

“Business? Who the hell are you, anyway?” Ah crap, not the whole identity issue again, i think, frustrated. Someday, I am going to find myself a believable personna, with less of those ‘unlighted cigarette’ special effects.

“Okay before you interrupt me, let me explain this BUSINESS deal. After I’m done, you can ask me whatever you like. Deal?” He thinks for a while and finally agrees. But obviously, it will not go to that stage.

“here i have a contract.” I pull out an aged-looking piece of parchment from nowhere. He starts to talk, but i cut him short. Later.

“i have a contract. Right here with me.” I do not wait for him to make any comment, and proceed to explain further, keeping count of the number of times i have been repeating this speech. JohnTravor would be number 9116.

“I have a contract here. In it, you will find 66 clauses. Very much like the terms-and-conditions thing u see in everyday business contracts. Pay close attention to clauses 1, 5, 13, 22, 36, 37, 49, 52 and 66. These are the ones that i think will be of greater concern and interest to you. Read the clauses in numerical order, especially the first and the last.

I permit the full use of his entire body. Now that i have gotten his full attention, there wouldn’t be any need to restraint him. I hand him the piece of papyrus. He stares at it intently for a few minutes, occasionally scowling and frowning as his eyes scan through each of the clauses. For a full quarter of an hour, he does not speak, and quietly reads the content of the scroll, very much like an attorney verifying a will.

He looks up at me when he is done with the scrutinizing.

“Any questions?” I ask, aware that there would definitely be this single, eye-brow raising clause. I make a mental note to definitely review the phrasing and choice of words someday.

“Obviously there are questions,” he replies, his voice somewhat dripping with sarcasm, “no self-respecting businessman doesn’t find ‘questionable’ terms and conditions in a contract.” He speaks as if from experience, then i remember his investment in the dud oil company.

He starts reciting a clause out loud:

“This Agreement, along with any exhibits, appendices, addendums, schedules, and amendments hereto, encompasses the entire agreement of the parties, and supersedes all previous understandings and agreements between the Parties, whether oral or written. The parties hereby acknowledge and represent, by imprinting a Mark of Life and on the beneficiary’s part, by contributing a Fract of Being hereto, that said parties have not relied on any representation, assertion, guarantee, warranty, collateral contract or other assurance, except those set out in this Agreement, made by or on behalf of any other party or any other person or entity whatsoever, prior to the execution of this Agreement. The parties hereby waive all rights and remedies, at law or in equity, arising or which may arise as the result of a party’s reliance on such representation, assertion, guarantee, warranty, collateral contract or other assurance, provided that nothing herein contained shall be construed as a restriction or limitation of said party’s right to remedies associated with the gross negligence…”

“…willful misconduct of fraud of any person or party taking place prior to, or contemporaneously with, the execution of this Agreement,” I finish for him, for the 9116th time.

“Isn’t this just an ordinary Entire Agreement clause? Or do you call it Integration Clause or Merger Clause? I think the terminology used varies from nation to nation.”

“Of course i know an agreement clause when i see one. Anyone will. But that’s not the question.”

“What is?”

“Well, firstly it looks like it’s lifted off Wikipedia. No one uses such terminology anymore.”

“From where i come from, there aren’t any lawyers, so perhaps plagiarism is part of the inevitable when trying to sound professional, but that’s not your real question.”

“No it isn’t, it’s just something that bugs me. Anyway, what the hell do you mean by “Mark of Life” and Fract of Being? If i remember correctly, It was something along the lines of “affixing hands and seals hereto.”

“ah that part. Mark of Life simply means blood. Would you not agree that blood gives birth to our very physical existence, that it is a symbol of Life?”

“Don’t get all philosophical on me, Horatio,” he snaps, irritated, “So how do i imprint a Mark of Life? By giving you my blood? Like some damn occult?”

“No. Not ALL your blood. As a sign that you are in complete agreement with the contract, you leave one drop of blood, no more, no less, on the bottom of the scroll.”

“Fair enough. What about Fract of Being?”

“Fract of Being is short for Fraction of Being. That which is a part of our non-physical existence, that gives birth to our being.”

“can you stop the philosophical mumbo-jumbo? What exactly is the Fraction of Being?”

I look at him straight in the eyes and say plainly, “Your Soul. To fully mark the contract valid, the beneficiary, you, must hand over to me, your soul.”

He stares once again, dumbstruck, his mouth gaping wide, looking as though I just told him he was going to die. It is obvious that he has problems defying his faith, his religion. I ponder for a moment the strange emphasis on ‘Soul’ as a very crucial part of one’s existence across the various religions. I recall vaguely a Chinese warlord who preached to me the importance of a soul in Buddhist teachings before flatly refusing to take up my offer.

I watch him struggle with himself. After a while, he swallows hard and starts speaking, very slowly, trying hard not to let fear and shock get to him.

“My Soul? All of it?”

“Yes, all of it. In case you were wondering, your soul is a fraction of your being. Just a very big fraction.”

“and i have to give it Now?”

I chuckle in disbelief. “No, not now. If you read clause 46 again, i think it says “representative to collect contributions upon the contract’s expiry, after it has been declared null and void.” Ambiguous, i admit, but i means that your soul will be claimed only after the contract expires and this contract expires when you die.”

His eyes turn away, as if deep in thought. He doesn’t speak for at least a minute. I do not speak either, and allow him time to consider his decision. After all, this battle of his inner angels and demons is crucial to my task, and i have learnt from experience that any form of interference or interruption to his train of thought is highly unrecommended.

He reads the scroll again, this time paying very close attention to the text, but he does not ask me further questions regarding the contract.

For a second time,he looks up from the scroll at me and asks, “Will i feel anything after i die, spiritually? Will there be pain when my soul is being, erm extracted?”

i laugh at the ludicrous question. With everything that is at stake, he’s only bothered about PAIN?

“No, my friend. It isn’t such a crude process. No ripping-out-your-soul agony. A painless process.” I assure him. However, i can still feel the tension, the uncertainty in his eyes. I wait for him to ask further.

“And after i sign the contract, i can ask for my terms and conditions? My benefits? Anything i want?”

“yes, anything you desire, whether material or intangible. Anything that can be thought of in your mortal world. Use your imagination.”

At this point in time, i can feel the wheels and cogs in his head moving, as he contemplates the possibilities. His eyes light up as his imagination takes him farther and farther away from reality. Greed will forever be the root cause of Man’s downfall, i tell myself.

“i can have anything at all? Anything?” he asks again.

“Anything,” i repeat, “in exchange for a drop of your blood. And your soul.”

He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. When he opens them again, i do not see fear or uncertainty reflected. Nothing seems out of the ordinary to him anymore.

“I have nothing to lose and all to gain. I accept this agreement,” he declares.

“Good, now as customary protocol, hold out your left hand.” He sticks out his left hand, palm face up. I place my left index finger over his index finger. I simulate a small scratching movement and a small trace of blood appears where the skin on his digit momentarily tears open. He doesn’t wince.

“Now hold it over the scroll,” i instructed. His hand moves to hover over the scroll and one drop of fresh blood falls, seemingly in slow motion, to it. The drop immediately dries and leaves an imprint, as though it was wax-stamped onto the piece of parchment. I roll up the contract and put it back in my coat.

“Now it is complete. Tell me your wishes and they will be fulfilled.”

“i don’t have to swear an oath or anything to declare that my soul is to be exchanged when i die?”

“no, that part’s already covered with the drop of blood. When you die, i will appear before you once again.”

“i see. My desires. Am i allowed time to think about it?”

“you are, within this realm of space. Take as long as you wish, and be as concise as you want.”

“according to clause 43, i am allowed as many wishes as i want before i break contact?”

“that is true. You can ask for anything, any amount, and when you are finally satisfied, Say “I am Satisfied” and i will make the necessary arrangements to break this realm.. You will return the to same place where u first met me. And you will have to make your way to this building at 66 avenue, down South End. It’s called iRECULF industries. Tell the receptionist your full name and your wishes will be fulfilled.”

“Wait wait wait. I have a query” he says. I can feel the slight anxiety in his voice. “Giving up my soul in exchange for benefits. Is this considered ‘Selling my Soul?’”

“why would that be considered selling?” i ask, “the value of your soul cannot be measured in mundane, physical quantities, such as money.” In fact, a person’s soul is practically invaluable. Priceless, i add to myself.

“Think of it as a trade,” I say, and put a fake smile on my face to reassure him.

“Alright. So when i just have to visit this company called iRECULF at 66 Avenue and tell the receptionist my name. And everything will proceed from there till i get my wishes?”

“that is correct. But depending on the nature of your wishes, and considering factors such as feasibility and implementation time, it may take up to a few years before you finally achieve what you asked for. But anything that has the potential to help you on your path will most definitely work in your favour.”

“that’s taking ambiguity a little too far for comfort.”

“Have no doubts, you will see the results soon enough.”

He then proceeds to tell me his wishes. He takes a good 30 minutes listing out all his demands. And finally, he says “Okay, I am satisfied.”

“alright, good. Now at the clap of my hands, this realm shall break.” I see him roll his eyes mockingly.

“Yes, i know, it’s cliché. But i assure you, it’s not a magic trick. Anyway where was I? oh. At the clap of my hands, this realm shall break. From then onwards, the contract shall be deemed, for want of a better term, ‘OPERATIONAL.’ Pleasure doing business with you, John. Have a good life ahead.”

I raise both hands to face-level and proceed to put them together to create a soft smacking sound.

“Wait!”

“yes? Any questions?”

“I know I don’t get any reward or any merit points for this, but i need to confirm something..”

“and that would be?”

“Your identity. Asking me for my soul as part of a contract – you’re the devil, aren’t you?”

I laugh. “No I’m not.”

“Den who the hell are you?”

“Just a friend, John Travor. Just a friend.”

CLAP.

-lifted from the bestselling “Dear Diablo..”
by Lymonade Slim

(lol ok so this is some story i was working on a couple of months ago. but my interest is waning. still drafting the ideas for chapter 1. hopefully i can make a book out of it =P srry for limited vocab/grammar.)

Granda’s 80th and the Wisdom Tooth

wow. haven’t been here in a very long time. guess i shall do some random updating. well, the first thing is that i just came home from a wisdom tooth extraction. not a wisdom tooth op, a use- a-pair-of-pliers-n-pull-hard kind of extraction. ouch. fortunately the local anesthesia administered to my gums worked. wonder how 18th century folks had their teeth extracted. hmm. or maybe dental care was non-existent in that era? shrug.

and i extracted my left upper. i was originally supposed to remove my left lower, which was giving me intense pain about 2 weeks ago. the dentist declared that the surgery required would be immensely costly and time-consuming. plus the fact that the pain suddenly ceased like 5 days ago? so i decided against removing my left lower wisdom tooth. For now lah.

he showed me the X-ray. my wisdom tooth was growing almost perfectly horizontally. it would have been cute, if not for the fact that this tooth would eventually grow outwards and push into my molars, which will cause pressure and all sorts of repercussions. yea. so i have to remove that sooner or later.

and now i am still nursing a numb cheek, numb gums, numb tongue. i cant even speak properly lol.

wow. just realised i have just crapped out 3 paragraphs of words. about my wisdom tooth. i have this amazingly useless ability to write alot about nothing! which impresses me sometimes =P

ok now i shall move on to another topic. ytd was my maternal grandma’s 80th birthday banquet. mini=banquet held at this chinese restaurant. 18 tables of guests. relatives, frens, my dad’s colleagues. well, any event that my dad organises will most definitely have alot of karaoke singing involved. so this was no exception. i actually had to find some decent clothes to wear. cos i’m like THE son of the Legendary SHEN LAO SHI. i dunno why, but my dad’s students seem to revere him. so i guess i have to look good for his sake. not just me, my younger brother too, so jeans and tee shirt were out of the question. damn.

i ended up looking like someone out of a HK mafia flick. No kidding. black buttoned shirt, black dress pants, black leather shoes, black jacket. i only lacked the slack shades and the cigar. damn. very infernal affairs.

and throughout the banquet, i would be whisked off by my mom to some random table to get introduced to some random relatives. and they would all be ” wa so big and tall! so handsome, just like his dad!!” and all that. not that fun after a while. tiring to be interrrupted in the middle of a meal to go greet people u have never met. and i never knew i had so many cousins. distant cousins la, but cousins. female cousins. 5 of them? all younger than me. not very attractive. luckily i din get very warm smiles from any of them. maybe it’s my mafia look.

and i realise that i have relatives! albeit very very distant relatives. most of them are from my mom’s side. most of them are very old. hmm.. and they’re all teochew. and i honestly cant understand perfect teochew, so all i heard from relatives were random, nonsensical jabbering when they talked to my mom about me and stuff.

and everywhere me and my brother walked, there would be a few pairs of eyes following us. if i turned my head fast enough, i would see a few pointing at us, saying “oh these are the ah ma’s grandkids, lao shi’s sons etc.”

most of them havent seen either of us before. cos we mostly dont go to their places for CNY. dont ask me why. it’s been like that since i was young. and my grandma, bless her, likes to show us off. verbally. she would tell her cousins and frens how nice we brothers were, how filial and sensible and obedient and all. so naturally we had this reputation that we were very nice people. so we couldnt go around pointing middle fingers at eaCH other for fun, swear loudly, pick our noses or what. kinda like mini-celebrities. =S

banquet was fun. haha it was a banquet organised for old people, and even i kinda enjoyed it, so i guess the event was a success. kudos to my dad for being able to pull this off. my mom later told me that my grandma’s cousins and sisters were all so jealous and envious that my grandma’s bdea celebration was so grand. haha. bet that made my dad’s day.

my dad sang 2 songs, my mom sang one. his students, 26 of them, sang one or two songs each. so it was quite a noisy affair. imagine trying to eat in peace with cats wailing and shrieking in the distance.

Oh well. the affair finally ended after my dad performed his second song, which was after the cake cutting. big cake. at least worth $250 dollars. lol. enough for 180 people lol.

********

fell terribly sick barely a week after 1 ORD-ed. raging fevers that said NO to paracetamol, (imagine that), throat infections that amoxycilin couldnt save (probably viral) muscle aches, fever chills, for a few days. den i had the sense to see another doctor, cos the current medication i was on wasnt working at all. 6 doses of paracetamol and my fever still goes up and up. strange, isnt it?

as of now, my fevers gone, but my throats still bad. the infection isnt that crazy anymore. it the “if-i-swallow-i-will-feel-needles-in-my-throat” kinda of sore throat. not too bad, i just have to wait it out and see what happens next. i have to stay away from Coke til then.

must be all that stupid late night running, plus my sleeping at 2 – 3 am pattern. zzz.

Chinese old Year, among other stuff.

my cny visiting for the year of the ox can be described in one word: no not “pathetic.” I was thinking more “uninteresting.”

Went to 4 places on the 1st day of CNY. Came back before 7 pm. wow. Lets see now: went to my maternal grandma’s in the morning, before my aunt and grandma went on a cruise. it’s been a tradition for them every year ever since my grandfather passed away in 2003. I remember when my family used to spend the entire second half of chu 1 at my grandparents place. my two uncles and their families would also visit. Very rowdy, very crowded, jolly good fun.

Of course that was a very long time ago. It’s sad actually, now that i reminisce about it. Now my grandparent’s abode is quiet, empty, and photographs are all that remain of the good old days. Not to mention that quite a few of my relatives have passed away in recent years =S

So there i was, with a red packet in my pocket, food in my stomach (courtesy of my grandma), a copy of the straits times on the floor, and random thoughts in my head. Wa sounds so poetic sial. =P Nostalgia literally knocked me out. I slept on the cold tiled floor for about an hour before my mom declared that we were leaving. my grandma and my aunt had to catch a 4 pm fastcraft (NS guys wahaahah) to the cruise, which was already somewhere in the ocean, so they had no choice but to chase us away =(

my dad managed to flag a cab without much effort. Surprising how the availability of cabs increases on a public holiday. our next stop was paya lebar, to my bao mu’s place. bao mu as in “protect mother” aka baby sitter. Although my family and hers arent related at all, we will, without fail, pay them a visit every cny. so this year was no different.

As a kid, i used to play with my bao mu’s daughters (2 of them). the younger one was called Linda and the older one called Patsy. Lingling and peipei in chinese i think. =S they’re both about 9 years older than me. =S As a toddler, I was very close to them. i called them “zeh zeh” haha. but over the years, as i gradually grew up, we became increasingly distant. Like there was an age gap, as well as a gender gap. i began to realise that they were adults and i was a teenage boy, and alas, society demands much masculinity from males. Or rather, pseudo-masculinity from immature males wanting to portray the “cool dude image.” =S

So instead of “hello zeh zeh!!! what shall we play today?”
It becomes: ” Uh, hi. how are you? good?” (smile politely)

So i knew that it would be weird to suggest doing anything together (without sounding erm, weird) and i couldnt call them “zeh zeh” anymore. But being good-natured girls, i’m sure they would have humoured me if i asked any of them out for a meal or whatnot. Dun worry dear, you dont have anything to fear. I’m not into may-dec relationships! (or whatever it is =P)

So ya the point being, we’ve grown apart cos i have my own guy hobbies and they have their Andy Lau LOL. I cant discuss basketball or the army with them, cos they have neither interest nor experience in either haha.

So when i was there, there were alot of polite conversations, weird questions and pointed, awkward silences in between. and it wasnt very comfortable. when the conversations started, the sisters took turns asking me general stuff like ” how are you nowadays”,”hows army”, “where u going for higher studies when u ORD?” Then they started asking me about my hobbies, what i usually do in my free time. and when the questions became something like “so do u still watch tv anymore”, i knew they had run out of things to ask. So i had to politely pretend to think about the answers, then explain my answers slowly, instead of saying “er yes. hmm no.”

man, it was quite awkward. and half the time i spoke so fast they had problems understanding what i was saying, but still they smiled and said “oh i see.” instead of “har? can repeat?”

Nonetheless, it was good to see that the siblings were still as close to each other as ever. when i was younger, i would sometimes find one whispering to the other and they would burst out in laughter together. they still do that now. i hope they werent laughing at me or anything.

“oh look, his fly’s down!”
“oh really? bwahahahaahah!”

And my bao mu ang bao generosity was as usual, unparalleled. =) Ironic isnt it. my most un-blood-related person giving me the biggest red packet. =P

Oh well. next i went to visit my paternal grandma and uncle. Only because we had to, only because it was tradition to visit in-laws. I’m sure if given the choice, my mom would have stayed far, far away from that place. We barely stayed for 15 minutes before my dad decided to cook up an excuse for us to leave. (going somewhere else la paiseh!)

In actual fact, we went home. and rested for twenty minutes, before going over to my maternal granduncle’s place. my granduncle’s 70 odd years old and single. he’s a nice guy, but kinda weird. he’s unemployed so lives on porridge and instant noodles. lights in his 2 room flat are dam dim, as though someone forgot to brush off the layer of dust covering the lightbulbs. quite poor thing =(

And we only stayed for 20 minutes. And my granduncle, being old and eccentric, decided to slide his red packet to us from across the dining table, instead of handing it over personally. and he did it was a strange smirk on his face. or was it a grimace. i dont know. As usual, the tinkling of coins told me that there were 6 shiny 1 dollar coins in the red packet. Quite hefty for someone who lives on a $20 per month electricity bill.

Shortly after, i went to ding’s place to play guitar and chill. was there for almost 5 hours. we tried to compose a new song, but got stuck at the chorus. =S and we discovered that song-writing just wasnt in our blood lol. Reached home at 2 plus am.

***************

i just read through my entry. omg. i sound like i’m half spouting random stuff, half narrating a biography, half daydreaming. Too many halves. =S I think i sound incoherent. must be the army. My brain’s all rusty. Or maybe it’s because i have too much on my mind?

Rightly, i should have alot to think about. with ORD impending, with V day imminent. I wonder whats the first thing i should do to mark my ord. whats the first significant thing i should do to once i get home from the office? wahts that one thing that will truly signal, represent, symbolise the end of my life as a conscript?

hmmm. do i go home and type my ORD reflections into yet another thousand-word paragraphs, doing another cheeyen? should i, for the first time in my life, go clubbing and get pissed drunk? (srry dear, second suggestion was a joke =P) any suggestions?

***************

I dread V day. honestly. I think dear and i can concur that our V days are fucking jinxed. really. Oh ya dear, if you’re reading this, can you tell me if you remember how we spent V day in 2007? Cos i cant recall! =( my bad i think. But i think it wasnt very memorable..

Man i hate to admit this but i am a very unromantic person. =( must be the army. Screws with your brains here and there. Take my poems for example. I could churn out poems, however lame sounding, at least once a week. Now the last complete poem i constructed was on 17 sep 2007!

(Seriously, if my poem constructing skills were bad to start with, i can say that these skills are now non-existant. Really. i have abysmal rhyming ability now. )

Back to me being an unromantic person, i have to admit that i’m out of ideas as to how how how how i intend to spend V day with her. My impression goes like this “aiya, if u love the girl and she loves you too, everyday also V day sial. No need to celebrate la!” buts thats also the lazy dude’s defence for not celebrating V day, b day, d day, or whatever.

besides, i really want to make this v day special! cos it’s after all, the first v day i will spend with a loved one immediately after i ORD. =) Oh well, guess i have to go rack my brains some more.

**************

4 working days left =)

Life and Sore Throats.

I suppose if i don’t update my blog until my Taiwan entry is complete, the next time anyone sees a new post will be some time after i ORD. Or rather, to quote Peh, after i join the “league of extra-ORD-inary gentlemen.” =S

And mind you, i still have about 80 photos or so in my SD card. at least half of them will be in my Taipei day 2, 3, and 4 posts. so prepare yourselves for more wall-of-text damage +9999999. =)

Hey i just noticed that wordpress has this “excerpt” function. just below my typing space. For those who wanna keep themselves up to date w my life but don’t care enough to give themselves brain damage by reading the whole chunk? hmm..

ok so i was saying. since my Taipei posts aren’t gonna be up soon, i figure i’d probably have to blog about life. Just so people know i’m alive and that my blog isn’t er, dead. =) So anyway, first things first: i officially ORD this year! Time to do that immediately-prior-to-ORD -reflection on how army has changed my life, how army has molded me into a better/worse person. But ok but that’s for another blog entry. just to keep my audience updated on what’s to come on Lymonade. Er, if i still have one (audience). =(

Come to think of it, the office is now so freakin’ quiet w/o Jun “eh fuck u understand” Xiang’s loud voice, w/o  Tranny Jenny constantly poking fun at Chang da Man, w/o Kendrick and Shirley joining in the fun, w/o Nikky’s active participation in lunchtime conversations and all that. Lunchtime’s now a less fun thing hmm.

Oh well, maybe we’ll meet up again soon. I can almost be 10000% sure that i’ll find Jenny at Zouk on a Wednesday night =P

Hmm ever since i came back from Taiwan, i haven’t been able to eat my fav foods properly, and my fuckin’ sore throat/throat infection takes full credit for this. Sadly. You know, the whole “hard to swallow, painful lumps in the throat” thingy. Very irritating. Could feel my throat going somewhere (to hell to boil probably) two Tuesdays ago, and i tried everything in my power to prevent it from exacerbating.

Yea So it was soupy stuff and porridge for meals (yum) all the way til Sunday in the same week. did duty. Developed a fever overnight while churning out my work. Could hardly stay focused in the morning. I was so surprised that i managed to stumble through MB while reading stuff to people. I remember a paragraph about Viagra and Afghanistan somewhere. hmm.. or maybe it was me being delirious.

Went home to see a doctor. (Don’t really trust MOs you see.) apparently my throat infection caused some serious inflammation, in turn causing me to get a fever. 38 degrees. Doc prescribed meds, i had MC, rested at home throughout Mon and Tues.

Felt so much better on Wed. the antibiotics and the Dorithricin were miracle medicines! =D i felt almost at optimum health on Thursday when i helped clear out my house for CNY (a lil early i knw) So i made the mistake of demanding KFC for dinner.

Sigh. I guess that was the trigger for the relapse. Friday was a catalyst. Took half day off to go sing karaoke with Justine and her uni frens (Waikit, Hui En, Li Hong and Hui Jing). There was this student package for Kbox members (5 hrs singing time, complimentary snacks and deep fried food for 14.50!) and u can guess what happened after that. Glutton Lymonade downed the fries, fried sotong, fritters etc.

And it din help that i ate laksa for dinner. So by the time i went home, my throat was somewhere on the 15th level of hell. =S took all sorts of counter measures to make sure my throat did not get any worse.

Went karaok-ing on Saturday night, for 2 hours. In a sense, the straining of vocal chords, coupled with the late night out (i slept at 4 am) acted as another catalyst. Sunday’s Pepper lunch was a minor catalyst. I felt so unwell by nightfall that i couldn’t eat anything for dinner, save some youtiao and soya bean milk. youtiao was probably the last ingredient needed to drag my throat to the 18th level of hell.

Sigh. Did duty on Monday. Which was a total nightmare. Despite me being dead beat, i couldn’t find a way to fall asleep in the office. So i was wide awake throughout the night, and once i got off duty, i went to see the doc again. He gave me some new medication (which i am currently comsuming) and i reached home, bathed and slept at 1030 hrs. and i slept like a dead dude all the way to 830 pm. LOL. I was so sound asleep, i failed to notice 4 missed calls and 3 smses from Justine asking me out to dinner. Felt terrible for making her worry so when i woke up, i called her immediately. And my voice was hoarse. But much better than it was in the day.

By the next morning, my throat was feeling solid again. So i met Ksoh, Ash and Peh for dinner. At PS. At Carl’s Jr. Wonderful, wonderful deep fried stuff that killed my throat again. And now I’m nursing another sore throat. The phelgm output is really killing me.

Oh ya speaking of PS, Justine was there at the very same place, at a class gathering somewhere in pastamania. So we met up here and there throughout dinner, and the pig was actually hungry after downing 1 serving of pasta! =S so she and jingmin went to Carl’s Jr and ordered some fries. (And after that, she still said she was hungry! )

Ksoh reminded me that it had been two weeks since the few of us met up, the previous outing to the same place (PS) for a late night movie (YESMAN). So  we chatted and chatted and talked all sorts of nonsense. =) Topics of discussion included Ksoh’s new found feminism SNAG traits and his prospects in cheerleading and ballet. Ash talked about a nightmare he had recently about Dwayne Wade. =S Peh’s back injury, his facebook groups, and his dislike for sun-tanners by the pool. =S And before we knew it, it was 11 pm! i could have stayed there til next morning if not for work commitments =(

Sigh. They say time flies when you’re enjoying yourself and i guess that’s certainly true. It’s kinda amazing how 4 people with almost absolutely nothing in common can be really good buddies. According to others, we’re probably the most mis-fit clique there is. And yet, 4 years after sec sch, we can still meet up and hang out and laugh about all sorts of nonsense, from BOYTALK (yes, ash boytalk) to EYE PEE MAN, to BGRs, to ARMY, to everyday life, to simply discussing amusing topics of interest.

We’re kinda like a gossip gang. Er. A very vivid image of “Brats” just came into my head. Ok so maybe we’re the male version of a gossip gang, but still it sounds quite gay. =S So maybe we need a macho name for our clique hmmm.

*******************************

My, what a short entry, compared to my usual wall-of-text posts. =) I pray that my sore throat recovers faster. Although i think i’ll sooner die of throat cancer than of old age. =S

Need to exercise soon also. getting rotund.

33 Days to ORD!

Taipei Day1

I guess it’s finally time to start writing about my recent trip to Taiwan, or rather Taipei. Been too lazy to upload pictures and stuff, but if i continue procrastinating, i might even start forgetting key details of my trip. hmm so here it goes. Prepare of wall-of-text entry =)

Act 1 Scene 1: Monday 15 Dec, Somewhere between 2100H and 2200H:

BAde my mom goodbye, lugged my heavy humongous suitcase out the door and to the lift lobby. Die la, havent buy aything yet my bag oredi 9 kg. =S

Took at bus to Justine’s place and watched Little Nyonya while waiting for her dad to come home and fetch us to Terminal 3. Justine’s mom also tagged along.

Gross over-estimation of travelling time. Reached T3 at around 2200H, which was 1.5 hrs before check-in time, which was 2.5 hrs before boarding time. Wayyy waYYY too early. O.o

Ate supper with Justine’s folks to kill time. Went to meet up with the rest at first floor after saying goodbye to her mom and dad. Jensen had driven the lot there in his new car, with his newly acquired license lol. Colin with red cuboid travel bag made of canvas (or was it PVC?) Bryan with suitcase similar in size to Justine’s. XZ with mega sized plastic suitcase, which Bryan aptly named “body bag.”

Checked in at the DIY check in counter. Counter 3, was it? Stood in front of the girl while she looked at my self-printed boarding pass and stuff. Looked behind her at the adjacent non-DIY check-in counter 4 (and its monstrous queues 50, 60 people?). Heng ah, lucky got do online check-in first =)

Counter girl gave us the all clear, so we proceeded straight to check in area, but not without me first retardedly asking her “eh, so where do we go from here ah?” zzz so malu when she just gave me a grin and din bother to reply. =(

enroute to gate B9. Freakin’ long way from check-in entrance:

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One word: Camwhores. LOL.

Act 1 Scene 2:  Tuesday 16 Dec Between 0000H and 0500H SIA Flight

Flight Number SQ 0880 N, as seen in the earlier photo. Good airline. Saw 1 super chio air hostess, but couldnt see her name tag properly. Sigh.

Justine sat next to me and the aisle, while The others took the window seats to our left. Takeoff was fun =). Especially the part where the plane increase speed suddenly =P. ok give me a break, i havent been on a plane in three years.

Fooled around with the in-flight entertainment system, watched hellboy 2 for about 20 minutes before i fell asleep. So throughout the flight it was  APPLE JUICE hellboy2 APPLE JUICE sleep APPLE JUICE mealtime APPLE JUICE. ah apple juice,  such a wonderful beverage.

the in-flight meal surpirsingly, tasted like army rations. Fried rice with fish. the motion i opened the container, i thought i was back in field camp in TEkong. Nostalgic reminiscence. =S

There was a teenage girl sitting to my right =) but couldnt beo her, cos that would mean i would have to suffer a “Justine patented ear twist.” =P

Plane took off somewhere around 0145H and landed in Taipei, taoyuan International airport at 0600H.

Act 1, scene 3: Tuesday 16 Dec. Freakin 7 30 AM. Taipei.

Cleared customs, although the process didn’t go as smoothly as i  had expected.The customs official, for some reason, kept looking from my passport to my face, with such speed and frequency i was mildly surprised he din get motion sickness. He asked me some redundant questions, like

“first time here?” “on holiday?” “by yourself?” before he finally let me go =S

Spent quite a while at the carousel (not the theme park ride) cos justine couldn’t recognise her suitcase =S

Found an old man, presumably the one picking us up to the hotel, standing at the arrival area, holding a placard with my name on it. for a while i felt like a mini-celebrity =) We met up with him and told him to wait for us outside for a while.

And so we loitered near the exit of the airport trying to figure out where the tourist info counter was. When we finally located it, we realised that it was not yet open for business =( so bo bian, we made our way out.

The weather was exactly like Shanghai when i first stepped out of the airport. cold, and terribly dry. =)

Act 1 Scene 4: Tuesday 16 Dec somewhere between 0830H and 1200H. Ximending- Danshui-Ximending

so the old man’s mini van drove us all the way to the hotel’s entrance, a journey of about 45 min.

Check in time was 2 pm so we effectively had nearly 6 Hrs to spend before coming back. SO we put our bags at the lobby and went out to explore the place.

Oh ya forgot to mention. the hotle we stayed in was Royal Castle Hotel, in Ximending (西门丁) area. The hotel has 10 stories, well, 9 actually, cos somehow hotels in Taiwan have a tradition of not having a “4th  Storey”, so the lift buttons go ” 1, 2, 3, 5, 6″ and so on. So in fact the storey labelled as “5th” is actually the “4th.” Cool huh.

Anyway ximennding is like DEAD in the day. The stillness of the morning air can be quite unnerving sometimes =)

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Family mart

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KFC!!

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Some random photos of us

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Stone

A Stoned Colin.

And so we walked around Ximending for a while before finally deciding on going to Danshui (淡水). According to a taipei tourist guide we had, Danshui is one of the must see places. So we figured “Why not?”

And we wandered around the area before finally locating the MRT station.

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Taipei Metro MRT MAp. Note that 淡水 is the last stop on the red line, all the way North. (我一路向北.. ) Not surpirisingly, everyone fell asleep on the train. Typical Singaporeans. =)

Some random scenery taken from the station.

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Author’s Note: Architecture there is an EPIC PHIAL seriously. Houses of funny shapes and sizes squeezed into small plots of land in the middle of nowhere give the housing areas in certain developing parts of Taipei, eg Danshui, a very messy, cluttered look. Not to mention that many of these houses look old, dilapidated, such that one has the feeling of being somewhere in rural china. Like squatters, slums =S

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The interior of Danshui station. Kinda like our very own MRT station. =)

First thing we did wehen we reached Danshui was to look for breakfast. and we chionged to the first stall we came upon that had aromas emanating from it. We ate Danshui Ah Gei (阿给), some tua gua stuffed with vemicelli, covered in sweet sauce. The same sweet sauce found in the Ah Lua in Taipei also =P

Ah gei (looks tasty! )

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Eating ah gei:

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After our stomachs were filled the few of us proceeded to walk around the famous dan shui lao jie (淡水老街). There were alot of stalls selling almost everything, from 铁蛋 to chinese herbs to various memorabilia. My legs nearly died after walking for 3 hours or so, exploring all the streets and alleys.

Some photos:

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There was this ice-cream stall selling super tallbut super cheap ice-cream. So all of us bought one each. At first, i thought the plastic taste of the ice-cream was just an over-reaction from my taste buds. Oh man. Turns out everyone felt the same way.

Which reminded me of the incident in malaysia whereby roadside stalls melt plastic in hot oil while cooking deep fried stuff, so as to maintain its crispiness for a longer period of time.

No one finished their sickening ice-cream and threw them all away. =S

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Colin and the plastic ice-cream.

Took a couple of group photos by the harbour before leaving.

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(the second one was super spastic. =S)

Author’s note: Danshui has a very “local” feel to it. Just being there makes you feel like you’re experiencing the culture and way of life of the locals in Danshui, one of the developing areas of Taipei. The sight of motorcycles expulling black smoke from their exhaust pipes, the foul smell of the wet markets and the feel of the sea breeze by Danshui’s fisherman’s harbour, all these have made my memory of Danshui somewhat more vivid, interesting and enriching.

(Not the end. Will update somemore later.)

On Being a Pointguard, Persuading my Mom, Potluck and Poems (Guess wat: all ‘P’s!)

I AM BORED STIFF. it’s 1423H on a Thursday afternoon and the end of the week seems so er.. distant. I guess this is one of the side effects of “ORD mood”: Slowing down of time.

Sigh i think this will be a nonsense post that really isn’t talking about anything in particular, but time seems to pass faster when I’m blogging, so ya here i am.

Think I’m falling ill. My throat feels kinda bad. A little sore. Occasional dry cough. Hope i get better by tomorrow. There’s gonna be a 4e1 gathering at Emily’s place on Saturday and i dun wan pangseh them. Somemore, I’m the one bringing the disposable plates, cups, forks, spoons etc. haha. Okay dont think it’ll make a really big difference if i really did pangseh them, but i think the scenario that follows will be…

“Okay let’s eat! eh but where the utensils and crockery?? no fork no spoon how to eat?”

After a while…. ” Where’s LYMON?????”

haha okay thats a lil exaggerated. But it has been a long time since i met up with anyone outside my small circle of frens from 4e1. haha and i have a pretty good feeling that by the end of it, there’ll still be someone whom i have not yet said a single word to all evening.

Oh well. Cant help it that the class is so big. =S Bottomline is : I still think it’s kinda weird that I’m bringing disposable crockery and utensils to a potluck. Hmm..

back to me falling sick. justine’s just finished her exams and is free to go out! =) So hope any illness i have will not include those that keep me in bed. NO fevers, flus, colds, diarrhea. Aiyo so sway, the two of us take turns to fall sick. I pray that i will be at my peak health condition by 16 Dec. Please please please God. =(

Moving on, i still can’t believe that in less than 2 weeks, I’m going to Taiwan with my classmates, the first trip of this kind ever. Doesn’t seem very real hor. come to think of it, i never was really very good at planning and stuff and i lack foresight. It shows when i do things, like play basketball.

When i take the ball, i only see things that are in front of me. The rim for example.

BASKETBALL GEEK MODE SWITCHED ON.

For example, when i receive the ball within the 3 point semicircle , i have options. To cut in, to shoot or to pass to someone. A person with good foresight (eg the pointguard) can instantly decide which of the three he will most likely attempt in order for his action to be advantageous to his team.

Talk about positioning. A pointguard sees the positions of his teams mates on the court, where they are most likely to be 2 seconds into the future, should he do anything. If he sees that there’s a chance that his teammates will get into a rebound position once he shoots or if there’s a good chance of getting an offensive rebound once the players start moving, he can attempt a shot.

If he sees players(Power Forwards and Small Forwards or even Centres) in motion, running or creeping up somewhere, he should be able to see where they will be just 1.5 seconds later, whether their positions then will be better for scoring a basket. If he sees an opening, he will attempt to pass.

If he sees his sharpshooters getting into postion, and will most likely reach their favourite shooting spots in 2.5 seconds, he can attempt to drive into the key first and draw defenders to himself, before passing outside to an unmarked Shooting Guard (SG) for an easy three point shot.

So this is foresight. or rather, a part of it. i haven’ included the possible positions of the opponent players and calculating probablilty. But basically being able to see the possible future, and making decisions based on this, is what we call foresight. This is vital for a PG (pointguard).

Unfortunately, people like me only see whats right in front. or players standing at obscure areas being completely unmarked. Or very obvious movements by teammates that even my opponents can see. So i’m never gonna be good PG material. LOL.

NORMAL LYMONADE MODE SWITCHED ON

So, despite me lacking foresight, i’m actually quite pleasantly surprised at myself for successfully organising this trip. (read: I HAVE AN EGO. A BIG ONE.) although at the expense of some blood sweat and tears. hmm. i think my mom was pretty surprised i actually managed to pull this off.

When i asked my mom for permission, she was chopping vegetables in the kitchen and i tried to sound as casual as possible. So i had to talk to her about some random topics like how stressful work is, and link that to “taking a break” and link that to “annual leave” and link that to “holiday” and link that to “overseas trip” and finally link that to “LYMON WANTS TO GO ON AN OVERSEAS TRIP WITH HIS FRENS.” So the final question was something like “eh mom , if i pay for myself can i go on an overseas trip w my frens?”

And i did so with full knowledge that i was treading on thin ice.

I know my mom. She’s the kind of person who will stick to her decision once it’s made. So if i ask a serious question and she flares up at me cos she thinks it’s ridiculous/retarded/out-of-the-question, she’s never gonna be persuaded on this topic ever again. Ever.

So when i asked her about this, i did so in extreme apprehension. Thin, thin ice. And i realised how ridiculous my request sounded, cos for all my 20 years in this world, i’ve never left for another country without at least one parent by my side, and i’ve never been able to survive on my own in a foreign place for too long.

So when i asked her, she was partially bemused, i think. At that point of time, what she was thinking would probably be somewhere along the lines of “hmm… Dun think he got the capacity to organise such a trip. He got no money also. So pretty harmless request that probably wont come true.”

And she said to me, off-handedly “if u got money u go la.” Just to drop the subject matter. And not once did i bring up the topic in front of her again. until settled the entire deal. By myself. =) Settled the airlines, accommodation and all. So i came home and announced that i had everything planned and done.

So maybe she was angry at me for not telling her first before doing anything. But she din show it. And she’d probably be thinking along the lines of “Wow he actually did it. that’s something new.” so i guess she cant do anything about it and begrudgingly nodded in acknowledgment to the details of my overseas trip to Taiwan. i think i impressed her with the sheer extent of the finer details of my programme. Or maybe it was just my own ego. =S

Oh wow topics actually emerged! Woohoo! I actually managed to link my mundane entry to talk about PG foresight and then talking about persuading my mom! =S Oh ya talking about taiwan, it’s less than 2 weeks away and i haven’t even started on packing or even considering what to bring there. Not to mention that i haven gotten a backpack for the occasion. And i haven’t changed currency. =S Hope all goes well. Hope we dun procrastinate until last minute chiong all the preparations.

And yesh, i realise that me and my frens are procrastinators. My closest frens have that character trait in them. My gangs are all filled with procrastinators haha. No offense though. From deciding where to eat to deciding where to go to deciding wat time to meet to deciding what to do when we finally meet and stuff, it all takes way longer than it should. I suck at decision-making. (Hey wait i think i covered this aspect in a previous blog entry. think it was called “decisions” or some crap. Dunno la.)

So i usually let other people do the decision-making for me, and if it isnt to my liking, i’ll whine about it. =P so back to me being so so surprised i managed to make a good decision on the Taiwan trip. although it took dozens of phone calls to the tour agency and tons of amendment tour details. I think they’re afraid of me now, the tour agency. I’m like the most troublesome customer they ever had. Wonder if they’ll want to do business w me next time…. Hmmm…

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As i type this entry, i’m slowing wasting some more time. BWAHAHA. But sigh, it’s only been a little more than an hour since i first started typing this out. Hope i get more inspiration to write interesting stuff. and not rant incessantly like a biatch. And the rain outside is fucking heavy. Which brings me to a poem i was working on in the morning:

JOURNEY

As the road goes Winding, winding
Lights above are blinding, blinding
The path ahead lies twisting, twisting.
As far as my eyes can see

As the wind blows howling, howling
Leaves on the ground go rustling, rustling
Faraway the rain is tinkling, tinkling
Nothing else i hear.

My mind and soul ever weary, weary
A burdened heart thus heavy, heavy
The sky looks bleak, so dreary dreary
How far can I still go?

So much for an attempt at imagery. Hmm amateur amateur. din mean for it to sound emo but i guess it is. to some extent. Poem’s too short and incomplete. should have a few more verses but i’ve got a limited vocabulary. Any ideas anyone? =)

Twin.

Disclaimer: To the non-believers in the supernatural, this post today might seem retarded or lame. But to those who have knowledge in this field, or have experienced similar stuff, talk to me! So we can spook each other out! =D whatever. =)

Well, i have had maybe one or two strange, unexplained encounters in my life, by i haven’t actually seen anything to make me a staunch believer of the supernatural. Hmm but i won’t dwell on those memories for too long, nor write too much on it here, lest Lymonade’s blog becomes another creepypasta.com or something. Hmm..

Was surfing the net this morning and being my usual, bored/boring self, i decided to go read up on some freaky stories online, or browse through wikipedia to learn more about vampires, and dumb shiat like that. So i came across this term: Doppelganger. Sounds familiar to anyone? I remember googling for this term a while back due to some disturbing thing that happened to my brother some time back, say somewhere in Oct 2007.

Definition(wiki): Doppelgänger” (German word) has come to refer to any double or look-alike of a person. The word is also used to describe the sensation of having glimpsed oneself in peripheral vision, in a position where there is no chance that it could have been a reflection. They are generally regarded as harbingers of bad luck. In some traditions, a doppelgänger seen by a person’s friends or relatives portends illness or danger, while seeing one’s own doppelgänger is an omen of death.

(from Halloween-website.com): There are many stories regarding encounters with doppelgangers, none of them pleasant. Often, a person does not actually see their own doppelganger, but someone else does. Can you be two places at once? No, but it’s a very strange feeling when someone who knows you very well insists that they saw you just thirty minutes ago — and you were nowhere in the vicinity. Imagine this happening time and time again and you’ll soon go insane.

Here’s the gist of it: I think my brother might have seen a doppelganger. Of me.

Okay. for the non-believers, or for those who think to themselves at this point “bullshit!”, this is probably the cue to start laughing. For those slightly less skeptical, read on ba. But i must say beforehand, my story is a secondhand version, cos the original lies in my bro’s head. So details might be sketchy. and this whole thing might sound so retarded that by the end of my post, you will be thinking “dude, your bro’s hallucinating” or “Lymonade, you’re an idiot. LAWL.”

I think it was the end of the week, somewhere in mid Oct 07, when the first signs of the monsoon season start appearing. In the gloomy weather. The chilly air. The dark grey clouds. I was back from a week in Bedok camp (THREE GUARDS AEI), shortly before i was posted to my current unit.  I was in my room, where my brother was studying, and he said to me suddenly.

“hey, a few days ago, i think i saw you on my way to school.”

“uh huh. When was that?”

“hmm. Monday.”

“ya that’s the day i went to camp ma.”

“ya but what time did you leave for camp?”

Bedok camp is located in Tanah merah, or somewhere near, so it’s a good 50 minute journey at least from my house in serangoon. Thus, in order for me to get to camp on time, and not risk getting extras, i have to be in camp by 7 15 am. Cos fall-in timing is 7 30 am. So give my self a buffer time of 15 minutes for bus-waiting and other miscellaneous. So effectively, i have to leave my house sometime around 0600 hrs. By 7 am, my bus should be somewhere near east coast bus terminal already.

“about 6, 5 minutes, give or take.” at this, my brother gives a slightly confused look, as if he cant understand some maths equation.

“strange. I was walking to the bus stop at around 7 am and i saw you across the street leh.” Now it was my turn to look confused.

“eh cannot be, by this time, if u see me somewhere in serangoon, means i kena extra already. U sure it was me?”

“hmm dunno leh, cos it was across the road, 6 lanes so i couldnt see very clearly.”

“CHEy! So it wasnt me la?”

“no leh,  the way the guy behave, just like you. He even dress like you. hmm.”

Puzzled and curious, i ask him to describe this guy to me.

“short hair. black shirt with no patterns. light blue jeans. White shoes. looks like basketball shoes. slinging a small black buffel bag on his right shoulder. right hand holding the strap. there was something metallic near his right hip. he was listening to his mp3 player i think cos his left hand was holding something small and black and there were wires going to his ears. his left thumb jammed in his left jeans pocket.”

i tried to picture how this guy looked like.

OH. i remembered that the morning i left, i was dressed in a black giordano t-shirt with no print, wore my ugly light blue jeans cos my favourite dark blue pair was in the washing machine, and i wore my white adidas basketball shoes.

OH MAN. I remembered that i was also carrying my black duffel bag, and my habit has always been to sling it on my right shoulder when i’m walking, and to make sure the bag doesnt fall off (i have sloping shoulders btw) i hold on to the strap w my right hand.

OH MAN WHAT THE FUCK.The metallic thing my bro described corresponded to the set of keys i hung on my belt strap, on my right hip, which was also a habit of mine. And the black thing my bro described was in the guy’s left hand? my ZEN Neon 2. and my habit is also to stick a thumb in my pocket whenever i’m holding onto something in my hand.

To top it off, becos i left my house at six, before my brother woke up for school, there was no way he could see my attire that day and come up with a story to scare me. and he came home several hours after me, by that time my clothes were already in the washing machine, so he couldn’t see what clothes i came home in either.

I felt a tingle run down my spine, but tried to dismiss it.

“maybe it was someone w a bad fashion sense la. maybe not me? got see his face?”

“Dunno leh. too far to see. but i know he was wearing specs. and he quite tan. like you. strangest thing was, he also walks like you! A bit swaying from left to right. takes big but slow steps. Like the way u walk when u chui like that!”

I stood up and walked around the room, and realised that my brother was right. I do walk like that. =S

“But it cant be me. at this point, i will probably be asleep on 43 leh.” i pictured myself with my earphones plugged in, my harry potter and the order of the phoenix open on my lap, my black duffel bag on the seat next to me, my mouth half open, me dozing off in the last row of seats on the bus.

“Dunno la. so strange. At first when i look, i thought it was you , cos i can recognise you from the way u walk. den i think to myself, eh u not in camp meh? Den i stare and stare as the guy continue walking down the road, i saw his attire and everything and i thought, eh EXACTLY like you leh. ” He shrugged.

“but u couldnt see his face?”

“too far la. anyway he was walking down with his back facing me, across the road. By the time i actually wanted to see his facial features, cannot liao.”

“den u nv chase him?”

“siao ah, i gonna be late for school liao, still so bo liao chase someone who looks like u. zzz”

With that, he went back to doing his work. i tried to enquire somemore but there was no more info he could give me. Two days later, i reported back to camp and told Joel, Liang Jin and Nichols about it. They gave me disdainful looks. Nichols called me “siao.”

Hmm. It was only after a while that i went to google to explore and found out about the Doppelganger. The paragraph that i copied-and-pasted from halloween-website.com was quite unnerving cos it said that people will normally see doppelgangers not of themselves , but of other people.

So, did my brother see a DOPPELGANGER of me? What did he really see? can it be that someone out there has exactly the same peculiar habits, the same walking pattern, the same horrendous fashion sense as me? What really is a doppelganger?

DO u have the answers? =)